Masturbation: Use It or Lose It
Sex expert Joan Price tells it like it is. And “like it is” means masturbation after 50. Gettin’ down wit yo bad self, all by your lonesome. And loving it.
In her Huffington Post article, 10 Tips for Hot Solo Sex After 50, Price writes:
Sex isn’t just partner sex. Many of us don’t have partners, yet keeping our sexual selves vibrant and healthy is crucial for many reasons. It’s true that if we don’t use it, we lose it — and that’s true for both women and men.
When we have less hormonal rush to stay sexual, especially if we’re without a partner and maybe blue about that, we can fall into a pattern where we don’t think as much about sexual pleasure, and we don’t give it to ourselves. Arousal and orgasms may feel second-rate and inconsequential, and sometimes just too much trouble.
Isn’t that interesting? I love the acknowledgement of “less hormonal rush” and I wondered if indeed there was any need to change things, especially when the complacency of being non-sexual didn’t seem to feel like a big deal either way. But, I still wanted to know if there was something that the non-sexual, non-masturbating woman was missing out on — perhaps for the sake of her health.
She continues to advise:
Instead, let’s see our marvelous bodies as still capable of pleasure, and let’s nurture that. We have the capacity — and the responsibility! — to keep ourselves fully functioning by pleasuring ourselves, discovering what feels good (it may have changed, so don’t assume that of course you know) and what it takes to make our brains and body parts sing. Let’s celebrate that we don’t have to close down just because we’re older and partnerless. Indeed, let’s enjoy what we can offer ourselves.
I like this idea. I like the idea that we can and perhaps should not shut off the possibility that being sexually solo might in fact be very advantageous to us. I like the idea that there’s a positive outlook to all of this, and I most especially love the way it’s been pointed out that not every person over 50 actually has a sexual partner. This is just reality. By this age the majority of us have already had many relationships and the paths of our lives may not have us with mates at this point — which is fine. Not only fine, it’s reality. So, what do we do when we have no partner yet wish to remain sexually active for the sake of our health and well-being?
We can explore solo sex, and we can love it. We can indulge in this beautiful private time and think of it as something very special, something that belongs only to us. And we can know that it’s ok to be alone, that it’s great to be alone and that on our own, we can heal ourselves and keep ourselves emotionally, physically and sexually vital for as long as we so choose.
She’s created a nice list of ways to get into it, but I’m partial to the suggestions that come along with number 3.
Create Your Own Foreplay.
Do sexy things that get you in the mood. Remember hot times with a special lover. Read erotica, play special songs, watch porn (or, if you prefer, a movie with a star who always turns you on), write sexy thoughts in your journal, take a waterproof vibrator into the bath or shower — whatever starts your path to arousal. Appreciate, decorate and celebrate your body with lingerie, silk, velvet, massage oil, candlelight — whatever feels good and puts you in the mood.
For more tips of how to provide yourself with hot solo sex, check out the slide show at The Huffington Post.