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The Measure of a Man

SEX
Gabrielle Vaughn | VenusBlogs Editor at Large

Because there’s never enough pressure on any one of us to be someone a little more super than we already are, why not rehash everyone’s favorite subject of all time: penis size. Because if we’re not talking about breast size, we’re talkin’ penis.

I was under the impression that, for a while there, we were letting penis size slide and that our focus was more on the quality of performance, no matter how the man was endowed. Ah, but old habits die hard *cough* and by the look of this article, Penis Size Does Matter To Some Women, Study Claims — I have to rethink what I think people are thinking. Too alliterate? Nah, let’s just keep going.

Stephanie Pappas, LiveScience Senior Writer, says:

Contrary to the reassuring catchphrase “size doesn’t matter,” penis size may matter in bed — but only for some women, and for certain types of orgasms. Read more

Awareness, The Hard Way

BEAUTY, HEALTH & WELL-BEING, SURGERY
Gabrielle Vaughn | VenusBlogs Editor at Large
Photo: Ethan Miller, Getty Images

My Medical Choice, by Angelina Jolie

MY MOTHER fought cancer for almost a decade and died at 56. She held out long enough to meet the first of her grandchildren and to hold them in her arms. But my other children will never have the chance to know her and experience how loving and gracious she was.

We often speak of “Mommy’s mommy,” and I find myself trying to explain the illness that took her away from us. They have asked if the same could happen to me. I have always told them not to worry, but the truth is I carry a “faulty” gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases my risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

My doctors estimated that I had an 87 percent risk of breast cancer and a 50 percent risk of ovarian cancer, although the risk is different in the case of each woman.

Only a fraction of breast cancers result from an inherited gene mutation. Those with a defect in BRCA1 have a 65 percent risk of getting it, on average.

Once I knew that this was my reality, I decided to be proactive and to minimize the risk as much I could. I made a decision to have a preventive double mastectomy. I started with the breasts, as my risk of breast cancer is higher than my risk of ovarian cancer, and the surgery is more complex. Read more

Mothers are the Best

MOMS
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor

Happy Mother’s Day to the sisterhood of mothers. Once you’ve been a mother to a child, you share a deep bond with all the other mothers out there. What our children bring us is indescribable. All the work, all the love. Their problems, their achievements, it’s all so deep for us and we take it in stride because we love them so dearly, so profoundly that to the day we still stare at them when they sleep, no matter how old they get. They need us even when they shun us, and when we give them the love they need — and we do — they are happy.

To a mother, there is nothing better than loving her child. To the child, nothing is better than mom.

Perfection!

Happy Mother’s Day to all.

-Dori Hartley

I Wanna Fake it with You

RELATIONSHIPS, SEX
Gabrielle Vaughn | VenusBlogs Editor at Large

Women have been accused of faking orgasms for years and years. And, it’s true — every once in a while we do — we have to. We have faked it in the past and we will fake it again in the future. When sex bores us or the emphasis to come is just a little too much pressure to deal with, on occasion, we will resort to Oscar-worthy performances where we moan, sigh, shiver and shake our way to the finish line. We fake orgasms when we feel that if we don’t get it done soon, the sexual act we’re presently involved in might go on forever — and that’s a tedium most women would rather just pass on. And rather than explain to our partners the slew of reasons behind what they might translate as their own inability to pleasure us properly, we fake it. Sometimes it’s just not worth the explanation. So, instead of groaning with pleasure for several hours and going nowhere, we moan with delight for a few minutes and everyone walks away happy.

That’s our little secret, isn’t it? Certainly our male counterparts don’t have this ability, and why would men even want to fake it? Aren’t they always just pleased as punch to wriggle around inside our bodies for the ten seconds it takes for them to climax? Men can’t fake it because their orgasms come with bells and whistles, which I like to also call semen — THE telltale aspect that reveals a man’s orgasmic reality. No semen, no orgasm — right? Read more

Mum’s Not The Word

ABORTION, HEALTH
Gabrielle Vaughn | VenusBlogs Editor at Large

What if we lived in a world where the word — abortion — didn’t come with heaps of controversy, guilt and judgment? If such a world existed, we’d be more apt to see both sides of the coin, and with an unbiased clarity of sight, we might better understand that many women who choose to have abortions are actually unaffected by the controversial moral issues that politics and religion make us ever aware of. These women are without guilt because they don’t see abortion as something to be guilty over, nor do they see their own actions as criminal — or up for anyone’s judgment. For this type of woman, her decisions are hers to make, and hers alone. To the world she says, “It’s my body, and that makes it none of your business.”

And I’m going to be brutally honest — the concept that abortion is always a hard decision to make is untrue. There are women who don’t think twice; it’s what they have to do. They don’t get caught up in what ‘you’ think. And if terminating a pregnancy — for whatever reason — is something that they’ve determined as an absolute necessity, then… abortion it is. No looking back. Read more

Viagra for Women

HEALTH & WELL-BEING, SEX
Gabrielle Vaughn | VenusBlogs Editor at Large
Photo courtesy of jezebel.com

Is the FDA-Approved ‘Female Viagra’ Pill Actually Effective and Safe? Jezebel writer, CALLIE BEUSMAN reports:

A month ago, the FDA approved the first pill meant to combat sexual dysfunction resulting from menopause. It’s called Osphena, and it purports to cure dyspareunia (pain during sex) by augmenting the declining estrogen levels responsible for “vulvar and vaginal atrophy,” a terrifying term that implies that menopause causes your body to decay and form a rotting flesh-coffin around your softly beating woman’s heart. Shinogi, the pharmaceutical company responsible for Osphena, claims that more than half of the 64 million U.S. women who have been through menopause would benefit from the drug. While it’s nice to see someone recognizing that woman over 50 do, in fact, have and enjoy sex, and while it’s great that someone is addressing sexual dysfunction in women, there are several things about Osphena that are in danger of being overblown or misrepresented entirely.

To read more: Will This Pill Fix Your Sex Life? on The Daily Beast.

Fat Shaming Meets Comic Art

BEAUTY, HEALTH & WELL-BEING, MEDIA
Gabrielle Vaughn | VenusBlogs Editor at Large

I must admit, in the beginning, I was hesitant to get on board with the “Just Be A Real Woman” concept, probably because I knew that coming to terms with the reality of my own body would be a part of that plan. I love the idea of other women accepting themselves, in fact, the whole notion of self-acceptance is both beautiful and foreign to me; nonetheless, that kind of complete confidence is inspirational. I want to accept my body “as is” — I just haven’t been able to.

But something clicked for me after I saw the comic strip that 20-year-old Illustration student, Colleen Clark created for a school project. When she was asked to “write what you know,” she deferred to her immediate experience: feeling “ashamed, embarrassed and hateful of my own body.”

Oh. That again. “That again” was my way of brushing it off, lessening the importance of what is a very real, very intense struggle for almost every woman who must face the daily onslaught of mixed messages — We’re damned if we do (accept our fat/skinny bodies) and we’re damned if we don’t (achieve a certain body image). It’s just one more lesson in how we must slam ourselves down so that we can stay insecure and messed up forever. Read more

A Good Mind for Cosmetic Surgery

HEALTH, SURGERY
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor

All over the world, women are opting for cosmetic surgery to help improve the appearance of their faces, breasts, tummies, legs, arms and even vaginas. Sometimes the decision to surgically alter one’s body comes from an honest desire to change — whether it’s for self-confidence or vanity. But this desire comes in degrees, and the urge to modify one’s looks should be made with a healthy mindset.

If one thinks she can improve her marriage by getting a tummy tuck, or a breast augmentation — what happens if, after a few rolls-in-the-hay, the marriage disintegrates anyway? Does the woman get more surgery thinking that perhaps the first go-round wasn’t enough? How far will some women go and what determines a realistic cut-off point? Read more