Mothers are the Best

MOMS
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor

Happy Mother’s Day to the sisterhood of mothers. Once you’ve been a mother to a child, you share a deep bond with all the other mothers out there. What our children bring us is indescribable. All the work, all the love. Their problems, their achievements, it’s all so deep for us and we take it in stride because we love them so dearly, so profoundly that to the day we still stare at them when they sleep, no matter how old they get. They need us even when they shun us, and when we give them the love they need — and we do — they are happy.

To a mother, there is nothing better than loving her child. To the child, nothing is better than mom.

Perfection!

Happy Mother’s Day to all.

-Dori Hartley

A Good Mind for Cosmetic Surgery

HEALTH, SURGERY
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor

All over the world, women are opting for cosmetic surgery to help improve the appearance of their faces, breasts, tummies, legs, arms and even vaginas. Sometimes the decision to surgically alter one’s body comes from an honest desire to change — whether it’s for self-confidence or vanity. But this desire comes in degrees, and the urge to modify one’s looks should be made with a healthy mindset.

If one thinks she can improve her marriage by getting a tummy tuck, or a breast augmentation — what happens if, after a few rolls-in-the-hay, the marriage disintegrates anyway? Does the woman get more surgery thinking that perhaps the first go-round wasn’t enough? How far will some women go and what determines a realistic cut-off point? Read more

When Awareness Leads to Desensitization

MEDIA, POLITICS, SEX
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor

I remember once — what seemed like a thousand years ago — I sat in the audience during a taping of Saturday Night Live. To give you an idea of how long ago it was, Eddie Murphy was the brand new talent on the show — not even host material at that point. We, the audience members, sat through the rehearsals as well as the live show and I distinctly recall an incident occurring, one that for some reason I would never forget.

Murphy was doing his ad-lib schtick and during his routine he said, “Oh God!” Immediately, the director stopped him to give him notes.

“Eddie, could you do that again please, but this time, don’t say the word God. We can’t say God like that, on TV.”

I hadn’t known that, but apparently at the time, that was protocol. Those were the days when television commercials didn’t slander other people’s products — by name — and you didn’t say the word God. At least not in comedy.

Words like ‘bitch’ were still highly charged secrets, and no one ever called anyone a bitch unless it was in a private setting and meant to deeply wound whomever was on the receiving end. The N word was even more taboo. Pop culture hadn’t yet discovered these words, and television — the media — had not yet found a way to exploit them. Those were the days where we still respected certain words and that respect not only taught us discretion — it allowed us to retain a certain dignity. Read more

Ginger Spice Tweets

MEDIA, SEX
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor
Photo: Getty Images/Huffington Post

A few days ago, Geri Halliwell, formerly known as Ginger Spice of the Spice Girls tweeted a special 30th birthday greeting to a fan. To the fan she wrote:

…to which, the people of Earth — or at least those who care what celebrities say on twitter — became all bent out of shape, finding the tweet to be a little too much information to handle. And, as it goes with offended and uncomfortable humans, they like to make an even bigger deal about what makes them feel this way by creating media hype to support their opinion. Read more

You’re a Rock-n-Roll Menopause

HEALTH & WELL-BEING, MENOPAUSE
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor

So, if you’re presently going through menopause, there’s a good chance you’re of the generation that went crazy with music and bands. As little kids we probably watched Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie together, in different cute bedrooms. We knew George Takei as Sulu, the real deal. We’d listen to Seals and Crofts and Badfinger and by the time it was summer, we were ready for all kinds of trouble.

Back in those days, a little later, say — late teens/early twenties, you might have been into either disco or punk. Glitter was a major part of our lives, we believed in it. For me, the glitter was always black.

For those of us worldwide who veered to the dark side, we had Stevie Nicks to front the team for the Forever Dark Club of Women and Faerie-like Beings. We still exist, though we’ve toned the make up down considerably.

We really are a sisterhood if you think about it. I mean, we’ve seen Alex Trebek’s entire career play out before our eyes. And he still looks fantastic.

We knew life without computers. And some of us before color TV. Yes, it is so! Read more

Fetish From the Editor

BEAUTY, SEX
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor
Photos: Google image search

As Managing Editor for VenusBlogs, I spend a good portion of my day researching and reading everything there is out there on the subject of what makes women tick sexually. Oddly enough, in a world that is comprised of all body types and preferences, I’m still finding that when it comes to women’s fantasies and fetishes — I can’t get past the wall of boring stereotypes.

Does it really always have to boil down to the Patrick Swayze in the Saturday Night Live Chippendales skit fantasy? Hunks with bow ties and rip away pants? You know — I can accept that. I’m OK with the big, bruiser types, I’m even fine with muscles and hunks — I’m more than fine with the Vin Diesels and Dwayne Johnsons of the world. I’m even cool with the Viggo Mortensens and the George Clooneys. Alright, throw Channing Tatum in as well. I’m happy to Tatum. In fact, yes, let’s Tatum.

But still. Gabrielle wrote an article about feminism and porn yesterday. And it got me thinking: I don’t see what I want in porn. Ever. Which is why I don’t watch it. There’s nothing in porn that even slightly gets to me. And why? Because they never ever show the kind of guys I like, the ones that I’m so specific about that I’d have to honestly call it a fetish. Read more

Love at First Heartbeat

MOMS, PREGNANCY
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor

Dear Valentine,

Years ago, as I reclined comfortably on an examination room table, an attendant jellied my belly with sonogram goo and, within a few seconds, I heard a sound I would never forget for the rest of my life: your rapid, sparrow-small heartbeat.

Even though the heartbeat was strangely distorted in it’s muffled amplification, all I heard was life — precious, vital life. There was life inside me — a heart beating inside my womb! It was so hard to believe a human being’s heart could beat that fast, but, then again, you were no bigger than a hummingbird at the time. Yet, there you were, alive, inside my body, making your presence known. You were undeniable.

When I first heard this manic, throttling little drum, I immediately and instinctively understood the power it would forever have over me, and I knew, also, that you would look to me as its source. Accepting this grand responsibility came as natural to me as breathing, and, before you were even born, I had already fallen deeply, unshakeably in love with you. Read more

Sex is a Ministry

MEDIA, SEX
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor

“Sex is a ministry.” – The Sisterhood.

When I first stumbled upon the idea of Christian Sex Therapy, I was skeptical. It took me all of 1.5 seconds before I was screaming, “Hallelujah!” The pastors’ wives that call themselves The Sisterhood are that good. In this video you are signed, sealed and delivered into the ministry of sex. Amen.

One of the wives delivers a rousing, casual sermon in a churchlike environment, with “strong sex in the bedroom” as the main topic. And these ladies mean strong. They mean strong as in break it off.

“We gotta keep it hot and popping in the bedroom. Can I get an amen?”

Amen, amen. I could watch a reality TV show of these girls, I feel like they’re tantric masters. They’ve hooked on to their faith and they’ve made sex a ministry. How hot is that?

Read about The Sisterhood on Huffington Post.

The Great Boob Embrace

AESTHETICS, HEALTH
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor

There is an unspoken, mostly unconscious rule of thumb that goes on between women friends each time they share an affectionate hug: Where to place your boobs. Will you be fitting your right boob in between hers, or are you a lefty? Because women don’t hug each other in the same way that they hug men — which is sort of a full-on, smashed-boob type of scenario. Instead, when we hug each other, our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces — that’s how we get closer. That’s how we feel the love within the embrace. And oh what a beautiful, warm feeling it is to be a part of the Great Boob Hug.

The other day, I went to meet a friend for lunch. She and I hadn’t seen each other since before the holidays and we were really excited about getting together. As it always is with us, we are very physical with displays of affection and all of our meetings start and end with rapturous hugging sessions. This last time, while cuddling me close, she said, “Wow, your boobs feel so nice to hug!” Read more

Globalization: Is Ignorance Bliss?

MEDIA, POLITICS
Dori Hartley | VenusBlogs Managing Editor
Photo: Nano Calvo

Tracy Clark-Flory does it again, in her recently published article for Salon, The war on female sexuality: Is globalization to blame?

Women’s bodies have become a global battlefield. The brutal New Delhi gang rape case, and the fierce protests it sparked, is just one example. From education of Afghan schoolgirls to veiling in France, female sexuality and freedom has come to symbolize a global conflict “over the nature of the self,” argues David Jacobson, a University of South Florida sociologist, in “Of Virgins and Martyrs: Women and Sexuality in Global Conflict,” which comes out later this month. It’s chiefly an ideological divide of “honor” versus “self-possession” — or, as he puts it in the book, “who owns and control’s one’s body, especially when it comes to women: is it the individual herself or the community, through enforced practices of honor, virginity, veiling, and marriage?” Read more

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